technically, im done

I CANNOT BELIEVE TODAY HAPPENED!!!!!

WHERE DID THE TIME GO?!????

HOW DID I GET THROUGH THE YEAR???

Other questions include: What did I achieve? Who did I influence? Did I inspire anyone to be better? Did I completely waste my time and the Rupp family's money?

I remember being at last year's at Pass the Torch ceremony like it was two weeks ago and now some flaming stick tells me that I'm done. How did this happen so quickly?

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to pass the responsibilities on to someone new it's just that after next Wednesday I will not be part of BYUSA for two years. TWO YEARS. How can I function without a coordinator and BYUSA retreats? Who will I chat with when I'm stressed if Doug or Phil aren't around? Who will make me feel good about myself when I can't walk past Devin or Chris' office? Who will sing with me if I can't be around Sterling? What will I do on Tuesdays at 11 when I usually walk with Sarah to Devotional? Who will chat with me about boys and music when Kate isn't around? What about Tuesday Presidency meetings? What about retreats? What about my EDs? What about watching their PDs grow and learn how to be leaders?? What am I going to do without my life?

The plan is to work for my dad all summer and leave for my mission in the fall when I turn 21 in September. Honestly though, while it sounds good to have someone else call the shots, I want to be here! I want to meet new people everyday. I want to love people and serve them. I want to leave notes for my friends in the office. I want to have surprise visits from my friends, roommates and FOL kids. I wont get to do any of that when I go home.

I'm excited to be with my family I just don't know what to expect, plan for, prepare for. A few weeks I couldn't wait to be done and now I don't want it to ever end. I never thought I'd be in a position like this and now here I am, passing my life on to new people and praying that they will take care of it, respect it, love it, cherish it, protect it. I know they will, I just wish that I could experience their journey. My only hope is that they write me letters and send me pictures! Don't forget me, OK?